Tag: novel writing

2020 Retreat West First Chapter Competition Winners

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2020 Retreat West First Chapter Competition Winners

Many thanks to Carrie Plitt of Felicity Bryan Associates for being our judge this year; we were delighted to have had her on board.

Congratulations to everyone who made our shortlist, and huge congratulations to our two winners who’ll each have their submission packages reviewed. The writer in first place will receive their review from Carrie, and the writer in second place will receive theirs from Amanda Saint — founder of Retreat West and commissioning editor and publisher at Retreat West Books. Carrie has also kindly provided short feedback on each of the ten shortlisted chapters.

First place: THE KATIE EXPERIMENT by Rosie Smith
Carrie said: This is a very short first chapter, but it does a lot in a short space of time, doling out just the right amount of information with tight and intriguing prose. The descriptions are evocative, and sometimes surprising: I love the way the delicate sheets of the girl’s hair blowing in the wind provoke disgust in the narrator. By the end I was desperate to know more about the narrator and her relationship with the girl who sits next to her on the bench. This is the kind of chapter that makes me want to read on immediately. 

Second place: GIRLS LIKE US by Julie Bull
Carrie said: This was a very intriguing chapter, managing to establish a mystery with economy and style, and giving enough backstory while still keeping the reader guessing. There’s some lovely writing here too, like the paragraph that describes the names of the girls on the wall. I love how it ends with the image of Pam getting in the car. 

Well done to Rosie and Julie!

And to our shortlisted writers…

PASSING THROUGH FIRE by Diane Miller
Carrie said: I like the way this chapter immediately thrusts the reader into the action, and gives enough details to make us realise gradually that we’re in some kind of dystopian world, without explaining too much. The writing is very solid, too. Maybe it didn’t need quite so much foreshadowing about what this moment will mean for the narrator’s future.  

BRANTWOOD by Victoria MacKenzie
Carrie said: I enjoyed being in the Victorian world of John Ruskin in this chapter – it’s very well evoked from the first sentence and seems believable. I do wonder if you are trying to impart too much information about Ruskin and his life over the course of the dinner party. I think this could wear its research more lightly, and do more of showing rather than telling.  

DOWN CAME A BLACKBIRD by Julie Holden
Carrie said: I like the way this chapter sets up the relationship with the neighbour upstairs and the mystery of the letter. It also had a great ending. I know the narrator herself is confused, but I felt quite discombobulated by the imagery of the bird and her dead mother, and thought perhaps this didn’t quite strike the right balance between withholding information and making sense. A smaller grammatical note is that I think you could cut out a lot of your commas; many of them seemed unnecessary and they broke up the reading experience. 

LOVE by Kate Tregaskis
Carrie said: This is an intriguing premise and the last paragraph is great. I do wonder whether you need the lists, as they can break up the reading experience and I’m not sure how much they add to the narrative. The pace here also felt a little slow – could you cut out some of the backstory / telling and get more quickly to the phone call?

SWIMMING LESSON by Rebecca Garnett Haris
Carrie said: I like the plot you set up here, but I wasn’t totally convinced by the voice. It’s really tough to write a novel in dialect! Maybe think about whether this novel definitely needs it.

LIFE AFTER THE END OF THE WORLD by Sydnye White
Carrie said: This is a great set-up and I love the first sentence. The pace feels a little slow, though, and I think you could cut out some of the contemplation about the narrator’s situation. 

WE MAKE DREAMS by Angela Wipperman
Carrie said: I like the opening paragraph a lot. I think you’re doing a little too much telling in the opening chapter, though. Can some of the backstory come out in the conversation with the journalist in the next chapter instead? 

WORDS WE SHOULD’VE SAID by Allison Secker
Carrie said: There are some lovely bits of description here and the idea of a missing twin is intriguing. However, the pace feels a little slow and I think you could tighten and focus this chapter, showing only what is necessary to set the scene. 

Again, well done to all of the writers above — and to everyone who entered. Thank you for sharing your work with me; it was a pleasure to read so many great first chapters.

 

We’ve got another great judge lined up for the First Chapter Competition 2021: Sam Jordison (@samjordison), founder of and publisher at Galley Beggar Press. The 2021 competition is also being run in partnership with Casa Ana Writing Writing Retreat. We’re very excited to have him working with both Sam and Casa Ana, and look forward to opening the competition for entries in June.  See you then…

 

2020 First Chapter Competition Longlist

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Many thanks to everyone that entered the 2020 First Chapter Competition. Louise Walters and I have read a lot of novel openings to make the longlist decision. We received 308 entries and have a longlist of 36, which we’ll now be choosing a shortlist of 10 from to go to our final judge, Carrie Plitt, literary agent with Felicity Bryan Associates.

Congratulations to all the writers who stories are listed below. We’re still reading anonymously at this stage so please don’t let anymore know what your story is called if you’ve made it through!

 

2020 First Chapter Competition Longlist

  1. A Charm To Mend Lost Causes
  2. A Whisper In The Woods
  3. Boy Nightingale
  4. Brantwood
  5. Down Came A Blackbird
  6. Flatfoot In Fleece
  7. Girls Like Us
  8. Hush
  9. In Our Father’s House
  10. Iris Vine Remembers
  11. Jack
  12. Level 44
  13. Life After The End Of The World
  14. Love
  15. Love The Dark Days
  16. Motor City Resolve
  17. No Woman Is An Island
  18. Passing Through Fire
  19. Static
  20. Summers With My Father
  21. Swimming Lesson
  22. The Book Of Gates
  23. The Candidate’s Husband
  24. The Circle
  25. The Cuckoo Clock
  26. The History And Remarkable Life Of Octavia Swallow
  27. The Inquisitor’s Papers
  28. The Katie Experiment
  29. The Orchid Child
  30. The Pearls, The Lake, And Yoshio
  31. The Slighting Of Livia Rathbone
  32. The Slow Knife
  33. The Sunday Painters
  34. We Make Dreams
  35. Words We Shoud’ve Said
  36. Your Sorrows Rise

 

We’ll be re-reading these chapters now and will have the shortlist in the first week of April.

We asked our members and followers about who they would like to see judging the 2021 competition and the unanimous decision was for it to be an indie publisher. So we’ve got a very exciting one lined up, which we’ll be announcing when the new competition details go live later this year.

We’re also very excited to have partnered with Casa Ana Retreats for the 2021 competition. Find out more about Casa Ana here. I’m lucky enough to be their guest mentor for a 2-week retreat later this year, so if you fancy some writing time in the mountains in southern Spain with 1-1 support to develop your novel, short/flash fiction or memoir, then come join me!

 

2019 First Chapter Competition Shortlist

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2019 First Chapter Competition Shortlist

Ta da, we have our shortlist! Thanks again to everyone who submitted and to all of the writers on the longlist for their patience while Louise and I made the decision on which 10 stories would go through to the next round for literary agent, Sarah Hornsley at The Bent Agency, to read.

Congratulations to the following writers – your opening chapters really grabbed us.

  • A Pair of Blue Butterflies by Claire Whatley
  • Behold The Stars by Imogen Harris
  • Caught Kissing Adam Faith by Neil Taylor
  • Cold Harbour by Marian Smith
  • My Name is Ten by Coleen MacMahon
  • Red Fox Hiding by Nicola Keller
  • Ruby Sixpence Whistles Up A Storm by Anita Belli
  • The Darkest Harbour by Catherine Day
  • The Joy Divide by Diane Wilson
  • Violet by Zoe Cook

 

Good luck to all for the next round.

Really well done to all writers that made the longlist too as yours stood out among the hundreds of chapters we received.

Final results in May when the first place writer gets a submission package review from Sarah, and the runner-up from me. Sarah will provide short comment on all the shortlisted chapters too in the announcement blog.

Details of the 2020 competition will be released in the summer…

Winners of the Page Turner Course

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After a lot of reading and re-reading of her shortlisted entries, Rose has chosen the winners of the How To Write a Page Turner course. The two first place winners get the course with feedback option and the two runners-up get the no feedback version, which is exactly the same course content but, you guessed it, doesn’t get the feedback from Rose at the end!

Congratulations to our winners and all of the writers that made the shortlist too, which you can see here. The challenge was to write a novel opening up to 200 words from the sentence starter ‘I read it in a book…’

 

Winner: The Names of Rivers by Julia Robinson

Rose said: This story is beautifully atmospheric, both the setting and characters become real and captivating through the sensual descriptions. The reader is also instantly immersed in the mystery and the promise of a deeply intriguing tale.

I read it in a book, the origin of Mary’s new name, ‘Rivers’. Mary Harlow had recently married Jack Popa Rivers, a blues guitarist and old white dog, first brought to New Orleans on board a merchant ship. Born in Liverpool, England, he had visited every port in the world.

We were on Mary’s houseboat, the Mississippi stretched before us, long and coiled, like a jewelled serpent. Mary’s red hair was tousled about her shoulders, her mouth curved in a close-lip smile. She was trying to avoid my gaze.

“It’s derived from the same Latin root as rival. Rivers have always been contested and fought over, in the same way as territory. And there are so many other meanings attached to rivers. Up the river – sent to prison. Down the river – betrayed,” I said.

Mary sucked in the air and turned her head to look me right in the eyes.

“And what is the origin of your name Lucy Pearl?”

I reflected. Jack Popa once told me that a Pearl is a thing of beauty. I licked my lips, tasting the salty tang of the river.

“A Pearl is opaque and hides its meaning under smooth, iridescent skin,” I said.

 

Winner: Duplicity by Jac Harmon

Rose said: This story was chosen as a winning entry because the tension in it crackled like the fluorescent strip lighting in the police interview room where it is set. The imagery used is striking and memorable, haunting. The final reveal is an intriguing twist and makes you want to turn the page.

I read it in a book …’ I shape the words with care.

He cuts in.

‘And you remember it exactly?’

Given who he’s talking to it’s an unnecessary question. I shrug.

He lounges back in his chair, tapping at his teeth with a biro. It makes me squirm and he knows it. I close my eyes. The lighting is harsh for such a small room. Fluorescent tubes pulse above and I think of the jellyfish in the seafront aquarium. Thin, utilitarian jellyfish. My head aches. I breathe slowly. In. Out. He’s waiting for me to fill the silence. I don’t. It’s an old tactic.

‘So …’

I open my eyes. He’s leaning forward on sharp elbows. One foot taps beneath the table.

‘You read it in a book.’

Statement not question. Another slow breath. In. Out.

‘As I said, it was written in the margin.’

‘On page 96?’

I don’t respond. He knows the answer. In my mind I see the words again, scratched deep into the yellowing paper. A black waterfall of ill-formed, skeletal letters written with the sharp nib of a cheap fountain pen.

The Detective Inspector raises an eyebrow. Our mother would be proud of him.

 

Runner-up: The Truth and the Lies by Lucinda Hart

Rose said: This story opening punches from the first to the last moment with a great hook and a final reveal that makes you want to know more about the narrator and their dark secret.

I read it in a book. The lie.

One of those gruesome-tales-about-your-county books that somehow my hand was drawn to, spinning on the carousel in the bookshop. It was only time before someone wrote about Rosie Barnes. Her bloodied and naked body abandoned in the woodland beside the main road fifteen years ago. How her boyfriend was found with blood on his clothes and a motive in his heart. How he shouted his innocence in Court, and then wept that same innocence as they took him down.

He didn’t last long inside. Killed in an incident, they said. But I think he took his own life, escaped to join his Rosie wherever she’d gone. To follow her.

And now the story, the legend, is printed in a slim volume for sale in my local town. Where people remember.

They remember what they heard at the time, but they do not know the truth. They do not know that what’s in the book is lies.

They do not know that when Rosie Barnes’ boyfriend cried his innocence, in his bloody shirt, that he was telling the truth.

How do I know this? you ask.

Because he didn’t kill her.

I did.

 

Runner-up: The Book of Future Past by Stephanie Percival

Rose said: The concept of this story is arresting and creepy and as a reader I am instantly drawn to the main character and concerned about the peril she faces. I want to read on!

I read it in a book. Not one of the hundreds which surround me in the bookshop, but the one in my back pack, weighing it down. I came here because it usually calms me. Not today.

I race upstairs to the café taking the steps two at a time, my feet in Doc Martens clumsy on the treads, so I nearly collide with a man descending, who swears at me. I need coffee and then perhaps I can open the book, consider the words again.

A mug of black coffee in front of me, and mumbling conversation around me, I take the book out. A musty smell leaks out with it. The book feels old; it has a leathery green cover. Ordinarily, I’d never select a book like this.

On the title page is an inscription, written in brown ink. Fading and blurred, as if written long ago. It reads:

Celina Delaney April 1st 1999 – Sept 17th 2018

My mouth is dry, my fingers clammy, because I am Celina Delaney. Nineteen years old, and my birth date is All Fool’s Day. Tomorrow is the seventeenth of September 2018.

More disturbing are the 3 letters which follow.

…R.I.P…

 

Creating complex characters: Dolores in She’s Come Undone

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Creating complex characters: Dolores in She’s Come Undone

 

This week it’s Dolores Price’s turn in the complex characters spotlight. Dolores is the star of Wally Lamb’s debut novel, She’s Come Undone. She’s a character that I use often in the workshops and courses that I deliver as she is amazing. Written by a 40-something man but one of the strongest and most memorable female narrators I have ever come across.

The story follows her from childhood to middle-age and although, as the novel title suggests, she goes through some really hard times I never found the book hard-going. It was compelling, heartbreaking, funny, poignant and ultimately uplifting (without having a shmaltzy ending) even though it covers themes such as sexual abuse, adultery, abandonment, mental health breakdowns and obsession.

We start with a young Dolores having a brutal introduction to the ways of the world when her beloved father leaves the family home as he’s having an affair, and never really bothers with Dolores again. Setting in motion a life for her that’s filled with mistrust, low-self-esteem, and a burning desire to be in control of people and situations, which ultimately leads to more heartache but with moments of joy and love along the way.

So why is Dolores so memorable? She’s one of the most complex and contradictory characters I’ve come across and also one of the most consistent (the 3Cs of character).

She’s surly, angry, manipulative and a liar. She’s funny, self-deprecating, vulnerable and desperate for someone to love her. She consistently behaves in ways that are really out of order but you find yourself rooting for her. She also consistently treats herself badly, physically and mentally, and you want to shake her when she looks like she’s finally having some moments of self-realisation only to slip back into the behaviours she’s always relied on, even though they are clearly harming her.

What makes her so memorable is that we’ve all been there. We’ve all done thing we know are bad for us, we’ve all shied away from dealing with the things that are making us sad. Dolores goes too far in her attempt to control things and I don’t think there’s many of us that will have done lots of what she gets up to. I’m not going to tell you what she does – go read the book if you haven’t already. It’s a brilliant book and a brilliant learning tool for us as writers.

Writing exercise

Create a character that shares the traits I’ve listed above for Dolores. Play around and find a voice for them by writing for 20 minutes from the sentence starter: I wish I could…

Then write a scene where they are doing something most people would think is a terrible thing to do but that will keep the reader on their side anyway.

 

If you’re feeling brave, post your scene in the comments below as we’d love to read it!

 

 

Guest post: Mark Brownless – The Hand of an Angel

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Today it is our delight to welcome Mark Brownless to our page as part of his blog blitz for ‘The Hand of an Angel’.  This “shattering medical thriller with a heart-stopping climax” is his first novel and we’re keen to find out all about it.

***

Hi Amanda! Thanks very much for having me along to talk about my book, The Hand of an Angel.

Hi Mark, it’s a pleasure to have you with us. Can you tell us what inspired you to explore the concept of killing yourself temporarily to try and find out if there is an afterlife?

In the 80s, as a nerdy teenager, I was always fascinated by unexplained phenomena, things like alien abduction, Bigfoot and near-death experience. So, when I started writing I had the idea of someone looking back after a near-death experience, and how that might shape their view of the world from now on. But the subtext is all about reality. What did they see? Was it real, or a construct created by their oxygen-starved brain? These are common themes throughout the book.

In one of the first creative writing classes I ever went to the teacher said that there is always some element of autobiography in the first novels we write. Do you think this is true of yours and if so, which elements of your life can be found in this novel? I’m presuming you haven’t tried to see if there is an afterlife!

No, quite right! The story mentions that seeing the afterlife, whatever it might be, is a one-way trip, so I haven’t been there as yet!

My mother-in-law was glad that the children of my main characters, Tom and Sarah, were both boys, otherwise she would’ve felt that they were too similar to my wife and I. Tom and Sarah aren’t us, however, but they don’t feel like characters I created, either. They feel like real people to me – I like a quote from Stephen King that says that he doesn’t create characters, he just tells a story about people that already exist – and that’s how I think of my characters.

When did you first start writing fiction?

Very recently. About three years ago I read a post-Fleming James Bond novel which I hated with a passion, because it wasn’t anything like Bond. I suppose I could’ve written a complaint letter, but I sat down and wrote four chapters of a ‘proper’ Bond story. My wife and I were away for the weekend at the time, so it was a little tense when I spent the whole weekend writing rather than spending time with her! Immediately after that I just started writing a conversation between two characters that became a pivotal moment in The Hand of an Angel.

Who are your favourite authors and why?

I guess my favourite author is Stephen King. I grew up with his books – Carrie, The Shining, and more meaningfully for me perhaps, The Stand and It. I also need to mention the late James Herbert, and even Guy N Smith, the latter who wrote Night of the Crabs, which led me to the former’s The Rats and The Fog and then Stephen King. I love Bernard Cornwall’s historical fiction and this has influenced Locksley, my Robin Hood short story series. Now I read so much diverse stuff that it’s hard to pick a favourite, but recently I’ve loved CJ Tudor’s The Chalk Man and Stu Turton’s The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle.

What is the book you wish you’d written and why?

That’s hugely difficult because I’ve read so many great books. I guess if you wanted to create a legacy for yourself, as well as being successful and recognised you would want to be influential. So in genre fiction terms, you can’t get any more influential than The Lord of the Rings – there’s so little fantasy that isn’t influenced by it in some way that to have been the imagination that created those worlds and the possibility for others, is extraordinary.

Are you working on your next novel now? If so can you tell us anything about it yet?

I’m working on the second instalment of my Robin Hood short story series, each episode is being released on a monthly basis and should be available for pre-order by the time you read this. As for a full length novel, as you alluded to earlier, I’ve allowed my childhood to influence me and I’m writing a horror story set in a quiet fictional village. Once again I’ll be looking at people’s perception of reality – this time with their memories of childhood – coupled with another unexplained phenomenon in the form of spontaneous human combustion. It’s called The Shadowman and I hope it will be available by the end of the year.

Thanks Mark for talking with us today!

***

‘The Hand of an Angel’ is available now for £6.99 on Amazon

You can also find our more about Mark and his writing on his website

 

Mark Brownless lives and works in Carmarthen, West Wales. He has been putting ideas on paper for some years now but only when the idea for THE HAND OF AN ANGEL came to him in the autumn of 2015 did he know he might be able to write a book. Mark likes to write about ordinary people being placed in extraordinary circumstances, is fascinated by unexplained phenomena, and enjoys merging thriller, science fiction and horror.

Mark is also fascinated by myths and legends such as those of Robin Hood and King Arthur. This has culminated in the release of his short story series, Locksley, a Robin Hood story, which will have new volumes added each month.